Battle of the Bands
by Stargirl-Washu
Summary: Clumsy makes Brainy reform their band to enter the Smurfs Annual Battle of the Bands festival to go against regeining champs Jokey & the Pranksters who 9 years ago stole their only decent song. Will Brainy's new song beat Jokey's band?
1. The Old Guitar

I was sitting on my beanbag on a typical Saturday afternoon. I was meant to be writing my book but instead I was playing a few chords on my guitar. I had writer's block and I couldn't think straight, my head was getting sore. So hey! I decided to play my guitar andwas hopingsomething would inspire me.

Within an hour of strumming strings. Clumsy came rushing in.

"Brainy! Brainy!"

"Clumsy! Couldn't you have knocked? What would've happened if I had a girl in!" I exclaimed.

I stood up and placed my guitar on the beanbag and walked over to Clumsy. He probably wanted some money.

"Gee, sorry Brainy! Everyone is worried about you since you have been in your house for so long. How is your book coming on?"

"Terrible! I have writer's block. I don't know if I should put a sex scene in it or keep it clean. I always do keep it clean and," I went on.

For once, Clumsy wasn't listening to me! He kept staring at my green guitar on my beanbag. Like he hadn't seen it for... 9 years or something!

"Hey Brainy! You have your guitar out!"

"Yeah... Playing some old chords. I learned Linkin Smurf's Crawling just now. I still have it after all these years."

Clumsy just stared at it.

"Remember when we were in a rock band?"

"You mean Rock duo? Yeah, I remember. You were on drums and I was on guitar and vocals. We had this really amazing song for the Annual Battle of the bands when Jokey stole our song. We refused to play since," I began.

"Actually Brainy... You refused to play. I couldn't play if you weren't playing. That was our deal..." Clumsy began "That and I lost my drumsticks on the night of the show."

I walked over to my desk, ignoring Clumsy.

"I think I will make the couple make passionate dirtylove."

"Brainy... the battle of the bands are back on. Can we enter? We could write a new song? A better one than 'My wish'."

I sat with my back turned to him and thought about it. The idea returning to the Music scene sounded like Milli Vanilli recording an album with their own voices. Would it succeed or would it fail. Milli Vanilli failed. It was a wild idea and I need to be on the wild side not as much as Wild smurf but hey! It's worth trying.

"Clumsy..."

"Yes Brainy!"

"Get your drumkit out. We are entering this year's battle of the bands. This year we will beat Jokey's band. Jokey and the Pranksters. Hey! Better off calling them Jokey and the fools!" I laughed mantically.

"What about Jokey and the Jackasses?" Clumsy asked.

"Clumsy! Read my house rules!" I pointed to one of my walls.

Clumsy looks at the wall "Brainy! That's a poster of Pameila Anderson. Wow! She has bigger knockers than Smurfette."

"Next to the poster!"

"Oh! Do not touch my A Night in Paris DVD."

"THE OTHER RULE, CLUMSY!"

Clumsy reads the bottom rule "Do not swear. Oh... sorry!"

"That's ok. Now, let's get ready for Battle of the Bands. It's in five days. Ssh! Too soon, man!"

**To be continued**

**Author's Notes: Hey! If you read Smurf fanfics occasionally then you don't know me. I am Washu and I love the Smurfs. I wrote this for fun (hence how I modernised it) and my friends read it and loved it so they forced it here. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's short b'coz I dunno wherever you would like it or not...**


	2. Snappy comments

**9 years ago**

"We are so gonna rock out there tonight!" I exclaimed.

At the time, I had long REAL blonde hair that looked just like Chesney Hawkes. He sang the song for the American movie Doc Hollywood with the song, One & Only. Google him. I was looking cool dressed like Bruce Springsteen with my leather jacket and black jeans and had some awsome shoes too. 80's style!

"Hey Brainy!"

"What now, Clumsy?" I asked sighing.

"Eh... I lost my drumstick."

"I'm sure, Handy will lend you one of his," I told him.

Clumsy giggled "I lost them both!"

I grabbed Clumsy's shoulders and started shaking him. "You idoit! Can you try puralising your words! I think Bill & Ted can do it and so can you! STOP MAKING ME NERVOUS!"

"Next up is Jokey and the Pranksters," Smurfette announced.

Jokey walked past us pushing me. His band followed, Heafty, Handy and Greedy. They walked on stage picked up their instruments. Jokey moved over to the microphone stand to make his wee annoucement.

"Hello everyone! Tonight, we are gonna steal... I mean sing our new song. My Wish."

"What the f---?"

"Brainy, I think you should tone down your language," Clumsy pointed out.

* * *

I woke up from the dream. Don't you just hate those flashback dreams? I really hate them unless they are highlighting something decent I have done like won a nobel prize or an Oscar or got off with Jennifer Aniston. Ok...they never happened. But I am waiting for them to be Deja Vus.

"Great... Flashback dreams. I... trying not to swear... hate those dreams," I said as I woke up.

I went back to sleep trying not to think about battle of the bands but instead thinking of Debbie Harry from Blondie. Boy! She is one hot lady! Back in the 1970's... Hey! Stop laughing at me you youngsters!

* * *

The next day, I sneaked out of my house with what I thought no one was watching me but Snappy saw and came over to me. He was keen to know why I was being secretive.

"Hey Brainy! What ya doing?"

"WAH!" I freaked.

I calmed down and looked at Snappy.

"Oh! It's just you, Snappy. What have I told you about scaring me?"

"Why are you being secret? Did you buy porn again?" Snappy looked at the guitar "Cool! You can play!"

"Yes, I can play the guitar," I started to become chuffed with myself.

"Can you teach me?" Snappy asked amazed.

"Yes."

"Do you have porn?"

I wished I listened at that point.

"Yes... No! No! Do I have porn? No, Brainy doesn't have porn! No porn do you hear?" I freaked.

"Ok, ok. It was a joke. Are you entering Battle of the Bands?"

I nodded.

"Cool. Can I be in your band? The other Smurflings are entering b'coz they can play instruments and they won't let me be in the band coz I can't..."

I hate when Snappy plays the sad story card. I couldn't let him in my band? Could I? Boy! Did I feel bad.

"Do you know what a base guitar is?"

"A guitar." Snappy repiled.

"You can join the band. I'll teach you how to play the bass," I told him.

"Brainy... What is the difference between a bass and electric guitar. Don't they both use amps?" Snappy asked.

We made our way to Clumsy's place and I had to begin explaining the whole concept of guitars.

"So a bass guitar has four strings?" Snappy asked.

"Yep and has a lower tone on it when you strum. You also can just pluck the strings instead of holding down chords. Hence why it is a lot easier to play," I told him.

"Brainy. How come you don't talk about guitars in your books?"

"How come you don't read my books?" I asked him back.

Snappy smirked "B'coz they are boring. Too many big words that I have never heard of."

We managed to get to Clumsy's home without any more Smurfs noticing. We sneaked into Clumsy without him hearing us. He was looking through a scrapbook that we made of our band.

"Hey Clumsy! Guess what? Brainy said I can join your band and he is gonna teach me bass guitar and... and... Brainy are you sad an enough to make scrapbooks of yourself?" Snappy asked looking at the cover.

"Hey! The band was called Brainy too if ya must know!" I freaked.

Snappy looked at me weirdly. "You named the band after yourself?"

"Yes... What's the matter with it?" I asked him.

I put my hands on my waist in my moody look.

"Couldn't you come up with a better name?" Snappy asked me.

"Well, Brainy did most of the work. He made our demos, wrote our songs, sang our songs, picked our outfits and controlled the groupies. How did you control those groupies anyway?" Clumsy asked.

"ANYWAY! Snappy are you ready for your first bass lesson?"

So Snappy joined the band.. I wonder how he will do playing the bass guitar

To Be Continued...

* * *

**Author's Notes: I'm just molding the characters up right now. I don't want this to go too fast like my Shaman King fics. My friends know how fast they go. I always did like Snappy. He reminds me of me when I am on my period. Haha! Sorry for the shortness. Lack of sleep.. - **


	3. Bringing back the old days

Snappy was making his way to my place... For his bass guitar lesson. The other smurflings were playing dodgeball a few minutes away from my place. They stopped playing and decided to question Snappy.

"Hey Snappy! Where are you going?" asked Nat.

"To Brainy's..."

They looked at him strangely.

"Why are you going to Brainy's?" Sassette asked. "I've seen his living room. It has a huge poster of Pamiela Anderson. Wearing a swimsuit."

"It was on her Baywatch days," Nat pointed out.

"I like Brainy's house. It's really cool," Slouchy randomly said.

"I'm going to Brainy's b'coz he is gonna tutor me in English," Snappy lied.

I came out my house in a bad mood. Snappy was exactly 2 minutes late for his appointment! I was gonna suprise him by taking him to the mall and buy him his own bass guitar hence why I wanted him on time.

"Snappy! You are exactly 3 minutes late for my lesson. Now, move! You can't be the best if you blabber on to your friends! Now, come on!"

I dragged Snappy by the shirt and pushed him into my house. Made him walk to the back door and get in to my car. Clumsy was in the front passenger seat and Snappy was in the back.

"I thought I was getting a bass lesson?" Snappy asked.

"What is the point of getting Bass lessons if you can't practise after my lessons?" I asked him.

"What? You are..."

"Getting you, your very own bass guitar!" Clumsy exclaimed.

I start my engiene and put on my car CD player with Japanese pop sensation Ayumi Hamasaki. Boy! Is she hot! Clumsy and me love her to pieces but Snappy never heard of her.

"Doushite naite iru no  
Doushite mayotteru no  
Doushite tachitomaru no  
Nee oshiete  
Itsu kara otona ni naru  
Itsu made kodomo de ii no  
Doko kara hashitte kite  
Nee doko made hashiru no," We sang along cheerfully.

We drove through a red light and nearly knocked over Grandpa Smurf. Snappy looked out the window shocked at my driving.  
"You nearly ran over Grandpa!" Snappy exclaimed.

"That will teach him not to crisize my music," I laughed.

* * *

**9 years ago**

"You are amazing,  
Your trickery gets you everywhere,  
It drives me insane,  
You got me under your control

Chorus: I wish I can own you  
Like you own me  
My wish is for you to be mine  
You fine looking little lady," I sang

That was My Wish... My song!

Grandpa smurf comes over and lets himself into my house. Pulls the plug in the amp and waves his old walking stick at us both.

"I'm trying to nap and you are playing that loud rubbish!"

"Hey Gramps! It's called music. Look it up the dictionary. Here! I have one!" I replied cheekly.

"Kids today! Don't you have respect for your elders?"

"OAPs today! Don't you have respect for Music or dictionaries?" I insulted Grandpa.

Grandpa gave me an evil look and walked out. Clumsy and I are were giggling. I started to impersonate him.

"Don't you have respect for your elders! Ah! Where's my teeth?" I joked.

"Haha! Brainy that's funny!" Clumsy laughed.

* * *

I giggled into myself.

"What's so funny, Brainy?" Snappy asked.

"Grandpa Smurf 9 years ago. Hehe.. Ask him about me when I was a teen."

"Brainy ripped the dignity right out him," Clumsy laughed.

"But why? Grandpa smurf is kind to me and the other smurflings. You didn't also insult Papa Smurf did you?"

I began to think about that memory.

* * *

**Same day as the last memory you saw :p**

Papa Smurf walks into my house during a song writing session. He had an afro like Elvis Presely and a beard growing.

"How about... I look over my shoulder/and see your innocent tears?"

"And... I turn round/to hold you in my arms/I've been waiting for this moment," I added.

"I see you are not playing your instruments now..." Papa smurf nervously said.

I laughed "No! We are song writing. Wait... Are we writing songs too loud?"

"No... Grandpa just complained again... As usual.. He was upset," Papa smurf said to me.

I blinked my innocent eyes "I said he can borrow my dictionary..."

Clumsy went into hysterics with laughter.

"Brainy..."

"Papa Smurf..." I replied in the same lowered mad tone.

"BRAINY!"

I jumped at that point.

"Ok, ok! I won't make fun or Gramps. Tell him to knock next time..."

"How can he knock? You won't hear him over the guitar and drums," Papa Smurf pointed out.

* * *

"Papa Smurf had hair!" Snappy exclaimed

"Yep... A horrible hair do," Clumsy said.

"1348 do..." I laughed.

I stop the car. We are at the mall. Ready to go and get a Bass guitar for Snappy.

"Are you ready for your own Bass guitar?" I asked Snappy.

"YEAH!"

"Get out the car, then."

To be Continued...

* * *

**Author's Notes: I really wanted to explore a bad side to Brainy... We all know he is a bit of nerd but he must have been a trouble maker at one point... Hehe...**


	4. Family Betral

We go into the mall. I was in the middle, Snappy was on my left and Clumsy was on my right the way we were walking we were just like the Bee Gees (Saturday Night fever anybody?)

"Ok, the plan is is to get Snappy a decent bass guitar and out again. Gottit?" I blabbed on.

Clumsy stood still and stared at the food court. There was a Smurfette there he had a crush on since High School. Her older brother use to beat us up... Clumsy always did have a soft spot for girls...

"Clumsy is actting weird," Snappy pointed out.

"Oh! It's just his horny hormones actting up again. Clumsy! We have no time for girls! We have a band to get ready. Battle of the Bands is coming soon and we need to get ready!" I pointed out.

"Oh... you go ahead... I'll get us some food..."

"Mm... if that is so... I will have a veggie burger and some fries with a small diet cola," I replied.

I am a sucker for food bought for me...

"I'll have a cheese burger with fries and a large diet cola," Snappy said innocently.

Clumsy walked away from us without hearing our orders. We didn't notice at the time. I was keen on some grub at the time.

* * *

Snappy and I walked over to the Music store. My cousin owns the place so Brain-nardo De Vinci (Famous genuis) can get bargains for absoulty anything.

"Hey Shades!" I greeted as I opened the door.

"TALK TO THE HAND!"

"Relax... It's just me... Brainy..."

Shades popped his head up from the counter and smirked.

"Sorry... Last week we nearly got robbed again!" Shades told me.

"No you didn't. Aunt Fefe told me that an old lady came in and you thought she was suspious looking so you chased her out. Anyway, I need a Bass guitar for young Snappy here."

Shades pulls off his sunglasses and looks at Snappy.

"Aww... He looks cool. Wear did you get that t-shirt, Shorty?"

"IT'S SNAPPY!"

"Very Snappy indeed... So... You want a Bass..."

Shades walked over to the woodwind instruments and randomly picked up a Flute. A green flute and showed it to Snappy.

"Shades..."

"Yes... Brainy..."

"That is a flute you dam idoit!"

"No it ain't. Who works in the Music Store again?"

I grabbed the flute off him and pointed to the logo. Flute Etc. Shades squint his eyes and looks at the logo.

"Flu...te Etc... Oh! Well, Brian Bob Vogt! If you are so smart. Why don't you pick out the Bass Guitar," Shades said to me with his arms folded.

I walked over to the bass guitars. Snappy followed me. He looked at the Bass guitars available to buy. He picked a medium yellow one. I took it off display and let him hold it.

"That guitar looks good. It's a decent price and you seem to like it unlike the Flute..."

"HEY! Didn't you read the sign?" Shades points to a sign.

The sign had very very bad spelling on it. "Bye any instrument n get a fre flutee."

"You spelt put the wrong kind of bye it's the b u y. As in buy stuff," Snappy pointed out.

"We could always throw the flute outta my car window," I said to Snappy.

Snappy nodded.

"Can we have a flute as well?" Snappy asked.

Just then, I saw Jokey, Heafty and Greedy walk towards Shades' store. I grabbed Snappy's hand and we ran for the backroom. They walked in.

"Hey Shades! We need guitar strings and our special amp. You know the amp that plays our instruments for us."

We watched and heard this in Shades CCTV.

"Yeah! I've just repaired it. It has everything you requested in it. Press this button here and your songs play and you sing..."

"You mean Brainy sings!" Heafty laughs.

"If only Milli Vanilli thought of this. Haha!" Jokey laughed.

I knew they were behind more than I thought. Not only did they steal my best song but they stole my vocals and instrument playing... I needed a new song and fast.

"Yeah... Now! Where is my money? It's my mother's Birthday coming up and I'm gonna get her a cool gift," Shades said.

Jokey puts a big pile of cash on the counter and Shades puts it in his pocket. He smiles and salutes them.

"Nice working with you, fellas!" Shades smiled.

They walk out the store.

"Snappy... Forget about the guitar..."

"Huh?"

"Trust me on this one," I told him.

**To be Continued...

* * *

**

**Author's Notes: We open up a bit of a dark sad side to Brainy... Will Snappy dig up Brainy's band's past or just continue being clueless? I always wanted to write a few serious bits and bobs to a fanfic and this is my chance. Sorry if it bores you...**


End file.
